The Mystery of John Titor:
Hoax or Time Traveler?
A person named “John Titor” started
posting on the Internet one day, claiming to be from the future and
predicting the end of the world. Then he suddenly disappeared, never to
be heard from again.
This is our planet’s bleak future: a second Civil War splinters
America into five factions, leaving the new capital based in Omaha.
World War III breaks out in 2015, starting with Russia and the U.S.
trading nukes and ending with three billion dead. Then, to top it all
off, a computer bug delivers where Y2K sputtered, destroying our world
as we know it. That is, unless an audacious time traveler successfully
traverses the space-time continuum to change the course of future
history.
In late 2000, that person signed onto the Internet.
A poster going by the screennames “TimeTravel_0” and “John Titor” on a
variety of message boards, beginning with the forum at the
Time Travel Institute,
claimed he was a soldier sent from 2036, the year the computer virus
wiped the world. His mission was to head back to 1975 in order to
snatch-and-grab an IBM 5100 computer, which had the necessary equipment
to fight the future virus. (His detour to the year 2000 was simply to
get a little R&R while visiting his three-year-old self, ignoring
every fabric-of-time paradox rule from time-travel stories.) Over the
next four months, Titor responded to every question other posters had,
describing future events in poetically-phrased ways, always submitted
with a general disclaimer that alternate realities
do exist, so
his reality may not be our own. In between dire urgings to learn first
aid and stop eating beef—Mad Cow was a serious threat in his
reality—Titor provided a number of technical specs regarding how time
travel worked, with overly complex algorithms and grainy,
hard-to-make-out photos of his actual machine. (Which, yes, of course,
was an automobile: a 1987 Chevy Suburban.) He even showed off his cool
futuristic
military insignia.
On March 24, 2001, Titor offered his final piece of advice (“Bring a
gas can with you when the car dies on the side of the road”), signed off
forever, and returned home. He was never heard from again.
Today, everything posted online gets a healthy
dose of skepticism. Let’s call it the Post-Snopes Era. We’ve been
conditioned to suspect everything.
IN 2003, TITOR FAN Oliver Williams—some may want to put “fan”
in quotation marks, simply because of the numerous unsubstantiated
theories that Williams himself is/was Titor—launched
JohnTitor.com,
which tracks Titor’s predictions and offers a compendium of all of his
151 posts. In 2004, members of George Mason University threw together a
multimedia rock opera based on Titor.
A summary of the tale at io9.com garnered over 103,000 hits in 2011. And,
according to IMDB,
a feature-length film about Titor is in the pipeline. What seemingly
should have been dismissed as a four-month hoax, the work of some nerd
killing time at his boring temp job, somehow turned into a phenomenon.
Since the beginning of the mysterious posts, Art Bell’s popular
late-night radio program “Coast to Coast AM,” a nationally-syndicated
show that covers pretty much everything that’d fit comfortably into an
episode of
The X-Files, has been the go-to place for all things
Titor. George Noory, who replaced Bell in 2003, has continued carrying
the torch, devoting entire episodes to the ongoing mystery, fielding
inane questions from callers and somehow answering with a straight face.
(Examples: “Is there any way that Titor could be a godsend, sent as an
angel, to warn us?” and “Do you think there’s any possibility he was a
space alien? I’ll hang up and listen.”) In 2006, a lawyer named Lawrence
Haber, who claimed to represent Kay Titor, a woman alleging to be
John’s mother, contacted Noory. An interview followed between Noory and
Kay—with Haber acting as a phone go-between—and it ended up answering,
well, pretty much nothing at all.
After that episode, the show intermittently tracked Titor’s proposed
timeline, looking at current events like tea leaves, possible harbingers
of a nuclear armageddon. But as the false predictions piled up—while
many of Titor’s descriptions are vague enough to be considered “not yet
disproved,” he
did also claim there would be no Olympic Games after 2004—the search for Titor shifted from “Is this real?” to “Who deceived us?”
IN 2003, THE JOHN Titor Foundation, a for-profit Limited Liability Corporation, self-published
John Titor: A Time Traveler’s Tale, which is essentially a bound copy of the message board posts. (Used copies of this are currently going for
$130 a pop on Amazon.) The Italian investigative TV show
Voyager
took up the case in 2008, hiring a private eye to locate the folks
behind the LLC, and a search led back to the aforementioned Lawrence
Haber, who was listed as the company’s CEO. An investigation by amateur
sleuth John Hughston, who also goes by the name “Razimus,” uncovered a
mysterious P.O. Box in Celebration, Florida, belonging to the LLC. A
group of friends with some downtime between gigs at their production
company
checked out the P.O. Box themselves but found nothing worthwhile. At some point,
JohnTitorFoundation.com
was created, offering some kind of nonsensical secret code to digital
passersby. And just a week ago, Hughston released another video—this one
40 minutes long—in which he names Haber’s brother, Morey, as his prime
suspect by using
a side-by-side analysis of phrase-usage, which, to be kind, is not exactly a slam dunk.
(Weirder side note: In 2004, a computer engineer named Marlin Pohlman
filed a patent for a time travel machine that “back-engineered”
concepts in the Titor posts. This started another round of speculation
that Pohlman, himself, was the original Titor poster. Last March,
he was arrested for drugging and sexually assaulting four women.)
The search for Titor, then, has become more convoluted than Oliver
Stone taking on the 9/11 conspiracy. A new piece of information comes
out, a tech-savvy kid with some time to kill sees it, decides to give
the puzzle a shot, and on and on it goes, the cycle never reaching an
end. The trail burns hot, the trail goes cold, but the trail never
disappears. There have been countless blog posts and armchair
investigations—a Google search for “John Titor solution” bounces back
with 325,000 results—but nothing’s come close to finding a worthwhile
solution. An itch in the back of the throat remains, unscratched.
But why?
The Titor legend persists because no one ever claimed to be behind it. Now that we won’t be fooled, we need an answer. It’s the Zeigarnik effect; when something’s not wrapped up, it preoccupies our memory.
LAST MONTH, BRIAN DUNNING, a writer and producer specializing on the subject of skepticism, devoted an entire episode of his aptly-named podcast
Skeptoid to
the John Titor phenomenon, less focused on who it might have been and
more about that question: why does something without any merit still
have legs as an urban legend?
“Now that the number of unsubstantiated claims on the Internet is
somewhat larger than the factorial of the square of all the large
numbers ever conceived separated by arrow notation,” said Dunning on his
podcast, “it would be a lot harder to achieve John Titor’s celebrity.”
Today, everything posted online gets a healthy dose of skepticism.
Let’s call it the Post-Snopes Era. We’ve been conditioned—from everyone
having access to Photoshop, to
Punk’d and
Jackass, to
found footage films, to big budget viral marketing campaigns, to emails
from faux Nigerian princes offering a portion of their riches if we
simply send them our bank account number—to suspect everything. Every
video of a cat performing a spectacular feat is met with at least one
commenter decrying “FAKE!” The Titor story, from a time when we were all
so innocent, a time that was less than 15 years ago, came right before
things started to change.
And the Titor legend persists, in part, because no one ever claimed
to be behind it. Now that we won’t be fooled, we need an answer. It’s
the Zeigarnik effect;
when something’s not wrapped up, it preoccupies our memory. Our
skepticism needs a party responsible, a grand designer that allows it to
make sense. When we find out—think the wizard behind the curtain in Oz,
or whoever Jacob was supposed to be in that final season of
Lost—the mystery ends. No one has claimed Titor, so the story continues.
There are some obvious connections for conspiracy theorists—the
fracturing of governments, underground bunkers—but, for everyone else,
there’s this: time travel stories are freaking cool. “This is a
superpower that everyone would love to have,” said Dunning. “We all want
John Titor to actually
be from the future.” Who among us didn’t
spend idle moments of our youth wondering about flying cars and
hoverboards, or what life was like back in the Old West. In fact, when I
asked Hughston, the sleuth blogger, why he was initially drawn to
Titor, he said that he’d been “a big fan of time travel since about
1985,” the year
Back to the Future was released.
But there’s also a much easier explanation. “The John Titor story is
popular,” Dunning said, “simply because that happens to be one of the
stories that became popular.” If Titor wasn’t leading conspiracy-minded
white dudes in their post-graduate years of boredom and confusion down a
rabbit hole of mystery, something else would. It’s Urban Legend
Darwinism. Among all of the hoaxes, Internet rumors, ghost stories, and
Satanic voices you can hear if you play the vinyl backwards, some have
to become popular. Might as well be Titor.
There
is one other (distant, remote, nearly scientifically impossible) possibility, though.
“ONE OF THE KEYS to cracking the Titor question,” starts an
email by someone who goes by the name Temporal Recon, “is to just allow
for the possibility that time travel very well
could be true.”
The great thing about time travel: the story cannot be refuted. If
events don’t happen as the traveler says, that’s because the traveler
changed the timeline. “Many never even get off the ground in their
research due to this very limiting view,” T.R. said. “They simply don’t
believe that the human race will
ever conquer time. ‘Ever’ is a very long time, Rick.”
There’s a particular point-of-view that seems to evolve within every
amateur Titor investigator I encountered. As the puzzle fails to be
solved, when no serious candidates present themselves, the goal of
locating the hoaxster morphs ever so slightly, allowing in the
possibility that maybe, just
maybe, time travel could be real. “Look, of
course John Titor didn’t travel through time,” they’ll say, only to dramatically shift with the addendum, “but let’s say he did.”
If you squint hard enough—and forget about the last four
Olympics—things will always begin to resemble what you want to see,
especially when reality’s only a minor quibble.
I mean, couldn’t the political differences that continue to
separate America into red states and blue states be precursors to the
Second Civil War? U.S.–Russian relations have been kind of strange lately, haven’t they? The history of 2015, when Russia and the U.S. nuke each other into oblivion, is still yet to be written!
Then T.R. writes a sentence that haunts me, one that will no doubt
tip me over the edge on a course to try to solve the mystery, to locate
the poster, or maybe a precocious kid now armed with a learner’s permit
who once met his future self. Graphs and charts will mass, blanketing my
small studio apartment, where I’ll only need a bare mattress in the
corner, a pizza on the way, and a computer with browser tabs parked on
obscure pages of note, set to auto-refresh. Friendships and
relationships and family will drift into the ether; there are only so
many hours in the day. Hands will blister, fingers will ink-stain, eyes
will learn to scan for men in black suits, or white coats, or some
combination thereof.
He writes: “
And there are others.”
And down I’ll go, into the abyss.